Bill Cosby would have so much to work with had he been working at my school.
Kids truly do say the darndest things...
"Can I go to the bathroom? My stomach reeeally hurts."
Next time, just ask to go to the bathroom. I don't need the deets.
"Why don't you have babies?"
Me: "I'm only 27 so I got to enjoy some of my 20s being just married first."
"You're getting old. You better have them soon."
I almost want to ask if my parents paid them to say this.
But really, when did kids start thinking 27 was old?!
Or am I just old and that's why I think 27 is young now?
"That skirt makes your butt look bigger than normal."
Ouch.
"Miss, what's wrong with your face? You don't look so good."
My response: Thanks, you look nice, too!
"If I asked you to go to prom with me, what would you say?"
"Miss, you're skinnier today."
I actually thanked the kid for that one.
"Are you pregnant or are you just getting fat?"
Just fat, thanks for asking.
The most recent:
(after I already received an apology letter from the girl)
"Miss, I am so sorry that I lied to you that day that we were in running club and I told you about my sister."
Me: When did you lie to me?
"You remember. I told you about my sister not coming to school."
Me: (in my head: nope.) Oh, okay.
"I'm really sorry. I didn't know you were a Christian woman. I know that since you are a Christian woman, you would never tell a lie. I truly didn't mean to hurt you heart like that."
Me: You're forgiven. (Please, walk away)
"Really, miss, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make your heart cry."
Me: You're forgiven. It's okay, really.
"Okay, do you forgive me, miss?"
Me: Yes (Yesssssss!!!!!!! a;dljfalskdfalsdhflakds)
The most recent:
(after I already received an apology letter from the girl)
"Miss, I am so sorry that I lied to you that day that we were in running club and I told you about my sister."
Me: When did you lie to me?
"You remember. I told you about my sister not coming to school."
Me: (in my head: nope.) Oh, okay.
"I'm really sorry. I didn't know you were a Christian woman. I know that since you are a Christian woman, you would never tell a lie. I truly didn't mean to hurt you heart like that."
Me: You're forgiven. (Please, walk away)
"Really, miss, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make your heart cry."
Me: You're forgiven. It's okay, really.
"Okay, do you forgive me, miss?"
Me: Yes (Yesssssss!!!!!!! a;dljfalskdfalsdhflakds)
Remind me why I chose middle school?
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