Learning to say No

I'm a people pleaser.  Seriously.  I walk through life looking for ways to make people smile.

Sometimes that means I look like a fool.  Sometimes it means I do something extremely awkward.  A lot of times it means I put myself on the back burner or play the role of doormat.  Oh, have you seen that one?  No mo'!

Lately I've been practicing ways to say no.  See, it seems like this really easy task, but when you get right down to it, it's not.
I mean, it may slip right out of your mouth easily (I applaude you), but when I go to form the word "no" in my mouth...it comes out more like "nnnnnnyessssss."  Not working for me.

There are nice ways to say no:
"No thank you."  "No thanks."  "I'm not really interested."  "Not right now, maybe next time."  "I'm not available."  "Sorry, I'm busy right now."
Unfortunately a lot of people don't realize you're actually saying no when you say those things.  They actually interpret you as saying, "I really don't want to, but see, you're just so much more important to me than I am that I'm going to do whatever you want so that you are happy.  Forget me."

Yeah, see, that just isn't working for me anymore.  When I say "no" nicely, I actually really mean no.  I know, I know...hard to believe!

So, sometimes, you have to break out the not so nice way to say no:
"No." "Nope." "Nah."  "Negative."  "Not happening."  "Never!"  "Not in this lifetime."
(I've actually never said any of those to anyone in real life, but in my head I've said it lots of times.)

Don't get me wrong, I love volunteering and participating and spending and you get the picture.  I've just recently realized that at times my calendar is overwhelmingly full and its because I'm afraid to say no to certain things!  I need to distinguish between what is good and what is great.  Catch my drift?

Sweater: GAP outlet, Top: Old Navy (old), Jeans: Goodwill, Shoes: Goody's (old), Jewels: Stella & Dot and Lila's Trunk and eBay

So, moral of the story is, next time you want to say no and you're really not sure how...think of this post.  I hope it has provided you some helpful, insight in how to keep peoples' muddy footprints off your face and provide yourself a little TLC.

Being the Yes (Wo)Man gets you great street cred, but makes your life a tad bit too self-less.  Amen?

Do you have a hard time saying no?

P.S. I got bangs.  What do you think?