With you...

lately i witness too much heartbreak and not enough effort,

too much giving up and not enough sticking it out,

too much throwing in the towel and not enough for better or for worse.

i just wanted to take a minute to tell my husband, 

i will put in effort.  i will stick it out.  i will be here for better or for worse.

i love you.

life after december 13

Psssst!  Tomorrow is September's CelebrateEVERYTHING link-up!

Make sure you stop back by and link up your celebrations.

Top: Motherhood (given to me), Jeans: Liz Lange Maternity, Shoes: Sanuk

last monday I sat down at my desk at work and suddenly i felt very overwhelmed; like i couldn't stand to teach that day, wanted to sit there and cry it out.  it was like all my grad school work and all my school responsibilities and everything just got piled on me all at once.  i wanted to give up.

i emailed my husband telling him i didn't know if i could do it all - that i was feeling so overwhelmed.  he reminded me that i was very far ahead in my program (i'm NOT a procrastinator so i'm literally 2 weeks ahead on assignments/readings just in case anything happens) and that i could just make a list of what needed to get done each day and cross things off as i went.  he also assured me that things that weren't crossed off could be done the next day.  

boy, do i love him.

then i started thinking about what life will be like after december 13th.  i graduate that day.  that means no more reading 15+ articles/chapters from textbooks each week on top of grading, planning, and school paperwork.  no more conducting research within my classroom; instead, focusing on what i want to do with my students and what we decide to do together.

the best part: graduating on december 13 leaves me with one whole month to be a wife to my husband before i become a mom, too.  a month for us to have as many date nights as we want, to share our last christmas just "us," and to really prepare for the beginning of our next journey.

i'm not wishing away time, but i'm looking forward to life after december 13th.

Grab this button from my sidebar and put it in tomorrow's post to link up your celebrations tomorrow!

Why Women are STRONGER

Necklace: Groopdealz, Shirt: Liz Lange Maternity, Skirt: Banana Republic (non-maternity), Bracelets: random shop & Stella&Dot

Can I just take a minute to be a little feministic today?  I hate the way the word feminist sounds because it almost sounds like a derogatory thing rolling off the tongue and that's not what I associate with it.  I mean, I'm not trying to gather a group to go burning bras or anything.  I just really think women deserve some credit for ALL the things we do.  Amen?

A feminist is someone who supports the rights and equality of women.

I think I fall into that category.  When it comes down to it, I want everyone to have the same rights and equality as long as they haven't done anything to lose that privilege.  I just don't want people to think I'm going around being a man basher

But, women....
Women are special.
Women are powerful.
Women do things that no man can do.

Women are STRONGER because...

• They bring life into this world.  They endure hours (months really) of pain to breath new life into the world.  That's amazing.
• They multitask.  A woman can make dinner, feed the baby, answer the phone, and look good doing it.  Let's see a man do that without breaking a sweat. ;o)
• Nobody expects them to be.  Constantly, someone is expecting a woman to fail or become emotional or stress out.  I love it when that doesn't happen.
• They work all day and come home to take care of their husband, the house, and the kids.  
• They look good doing it!

I'm not discrediting all the work men do, but I am going out on a limb and saying that women don't just rock, they are rocks.

1. Worse, 2. Better

Maybe I'm at the age where life just got real and things get tougher.
Maybe I'm more aware of what is going on around me because I'm not as self-consumed as I was.
Maybe I'm just surrounded by marriage and babies and things that make life complicated because I'm at that stage of life myself.  Either way, I'm alarmed and saddened by the amount of people that are so willing to throw things away for "grass that is greener" or so it appears.

I'm not going to lie to you and say that everything about my life or my marriage has been rainbows and butterflies.  That's not reality.  Fact is, we face obstacles and hardships daily because they shape us and make us better human beings.  And they are worth it.

I look around me and see people giving up on marriages and love and relationships in general because they aren't meeting expectations.  Women seeking the attention they want from their husbands from their male coworkers instead.  Men flirting with female counterparts rather than their wives.  The grass is greener on the other side...in their eyes.  It makes my heart sad.

Just like grass needs the rain, our relationships need attention.  Rather than admiring what someone else has, seek to make what you have better.  Flirt.  Go on a date.  Cook a special meal.  Find a new hobby together.  Go for a walk.  Sit down at the dinner table and turn off the tv.  Try a new restaurant.  Turn off technology.  Listen.  Kiss.  Hold hands.  Dance.  Remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.

I wish more people would spend some time on their relationships before throwing in the towel.  It's not always easy, but it's always worth it.  A friend shared this quote on Facebook this week...

Maybe more marriages would last if people realized sometimes the 

better comes after the worse.

Unknown

I love you, Jus. xoxo

How To Make Your Man Drool

There are a few things we wives know bring our men to the yard.

For my hubby, it's my roast.

For the longest time I avoided making roast because it intimidated me.

It was something my MIL made on Sunday afternoons and we all know the general rule about a wife's cooking vs. a mother's cooking so I steered clear of this one.

After attempting it once, I realized how easy and not-so-scary it is so I do it about once every other week and any time we have company coming over for dinner.

I think many women stray from roasts because they are time-consuming, but if I get home at 4:00 on a weeknight, my roast is done by 7:00 that evening.  It's later than our normal dinner time, but worth the wait.  And did I mention easy?

Here is what you need:

3lb roast (This gives us dinner and a leftovers)

Montreal Steak seasoning (even Food Lion brand is good)

Salt and Pepper

3/4 c. water

Here is what you do:

Line a baking pan with aluminum foil (to make clean-up easier).

Coat all sides of roast with salt, pepper, and seasoning to taste.

Lay in pan and pour in about 3/4 c. water.

Cover with foil.

Cook for 1 hour per pound at 300 degrees.  (approx. 3 hours) 

Your man will think you slaved away in the kitchen all day 

and you'll be wondering what took you so long to try this!

Perspective.

It's interesting to me how a few things happen in our lives and we assume that its the worst weekend ever or that we have somehow, mistakingly upset the Heavens and we're being punished. #Guilty.

Then, something happens and it puts everything else into perspective.

Last Monday my husband's bank was robbed.  Luckily, the man was unarmed and no one was hurt.  But, as I sat in my classroom trying to figure out when and how I could get my car fixed so that I wouldn't go without it all week, it hit me that my car is pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things.  The things that my husband and I argue about sometimes - they aren't really that important.  It's times like these God jerks a knot in your tail and makes you see the bigger picture.

My dad always says, "Marriage is the hardest job you will ever love."

Honestly, prior to getting married I thought he was teasing my mom when he would say that.  See, they have an incredible marriage.  I'm sure its not picture-perfect, but they were good enough parents never to let my brother or me see those imperfections.  They respect each other enough to communicate behind closed doors and without raising voices.  

I have to say, I totally agree with them.  After a frustrating weekend of things that seemed really significant at the time, Monday opened my eyes.  We had a rough weekend complete with dog bites and a fender bender in our own driveway, but none of that mattered as long as my husband was okay.  The little things were quickly forgotten.  

My husband and I have been married for almost three years.  Some would say we're in the honeymoon stage and some would say that has just ended.  Over those three years, our marriage and relationship has changed and evolved.  As I think it should do...  You learn a lot about a person in three years of living together and loving one another.

Sometimes love is hard and sometimes it is easy.

Sometimes love is messy.

I think the important thing to remember is that it is always worth it.  So, even when we have a rough weekend or we have an argument (let's be real here...no marriage is as perfect in real life as it is in Blog World or on Pinterest), its important to remember that those moments are propelling us into the next big advancement in our relationships.  

It's not the moment itself, but how we handle that moment that defines our love for one another.

Love and marriage are never going to be like the movies.  For one, its not scripted.  And two, you can only watch a movie so many times before you grow bored with it.  Thank God for that.

Chicken Chick

Not Quite 31, Still So Called

Have you started reading yet?!  If you're not sure what I could be talking about, check out my first post on the book, My So-Called Life as a Proverbs 31 Wife, here.  I know some of you may be thinking that Christian books (particularly those about marriage) can be very dry.  And some of them can be.  I've read several and would definitely agree with you on a few, but this book is different.

Guys, Sarah Horn is human!  And she has a sense of humor!  She doesn't make you feel bad for being an imperfect woman.  She can relate.

So, last week I started breaking down Proverbs 31 and sharing my thoughts on the book.  Like I said, Horn is very relatable.  I would love to hear your thoughts about the book as well as your own experiences (successful or not) with trying to be a Proverbs 31 wife.

First off, she refers to the Proverbs 31 wife as Martha 31.  I have to admit, I don't picture Martha Stewart when I picture the Proverbs 31 woman, but I can totally see where this image comes from.  Someone who enjoys baking, crafting, cleaning, blah.  My visual is more of a small, quiet, simple looking girl with a long skirt, long hair, just tip-toeing around doing everything in the house.  Words I would use to describe my mental picture: timid, quiet, mousey, Cinderella-esque.

Source: google.com via Disney on Pinterest

I am not that girl.  My husband will be the first to tell you there is nothing timid or quiet about me.  The more I think about it though, I really do enjoy those things.  I really do have the desire to be better at them, to be acknowledged for them.  Well, minus the cleaning part.  I'm sorry, there is not one single thing that gets me excited about the smell of Clorox or the feel of a mop between my hands.  What woman doesn't want to hear their husband brag about her cooking?  Even if it is out of a box or once a week?  ....Or take out?

"She finds wool and flax and busily spins it.

She is like a merchant's ship, bringing food from afar.

She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household

and plan the day's work for her servant girls.

She goes to inspect a field and buys it;

with her earnings she plants a vineyard.

She is energetic and strong, a hard worker.

She makes sure her dwellings are profitable;

her lamp burns late into the night."

Proverbs 31:13-18

Like the author, I struggle to be un-selfish.  I'm selfish with so much: time, money, food, energy.  At one point, Horn even tries to give her husband the last bite of her favorite sushi roll.  I can't think of a time I was wiling to give my husband the last bite of sushi roll.  I like my sushi!  

This week I've tried to be a little less about me and more about him.  I'm still taking care of myself - I wouldn't even go so far as to say that I've put myself on the back burner.  I just make a little extra time for him.  One way I've done that is by juicing for both of us each morning and putting his in the refrigerator so he can drink it before he goes to work.  I've been matching his socks instead of just throwing them in the basket to be put away.  I do try to work hard and I do try to have energy.  I'm sure my husband wouldn't mind if I even toned it down in that department from time to time.  

As for the other stuff, my hubby would kill me if I went off and bought a piece of land, although my own vineyard sounds pretty darn good  (I'm kidding folks - I understand this is not intended to be taken literally)  and the lamp only burns late into the night if we forget to turn it off before we go to bed.

Do you struggle with selfishness?  Are there little things you do for your man that make him feel special?  Please, share!  Lord, knows, I need to work on it myself.

If you're reading the book, I want to hear what you think!  Would any of you be interested in doing the P31 Challenge and linking up together as we go through it?  Is there anyone that would be interested in cohosting said link-up?  Get at me!

So Called 31

I started reading this book, My So Called Life as a Proverbs 31 Wife, after hearing about it on instagram.  In case you're interested in joining me, it's only $2.51 on Kindle right now!

I'm not sure I've shared my hopes for this blog, but if I had a mission statement this would be it:

My desire is to illustrate and foster individuality and independence in today's modern woman while, at the same time, demonstrating the significance of being a loving wife/mother.

(I'm not yet a mother, but when that time comes my hope is this.)

Let me explain...by modern and individual I mean strong, purposeful, fashionable, and confident.  By independent I don't mean "without man."  I mean self-made, resourceful, and reliable.  Today's world stresses that women don't need a man (and I agree with the world), but woman was created for man.  Therefore, be a woman.  Be a strong, independent, modern woman, but be lovable and caring and supportive all the same.

So, with this vision in mind, it is not possible for me to sit back and read this book without sharing what I am reading and how I am reflecting with all of you.  I encourage you to read it and share with me your own thoughts and feelings.  If you have read it, please, feel free to share.  As I continue through the book, I'm sure it will spark topics for future posts.  

I can totally relate to the author.  The first time I heard all the "stipulations" for a Proverbs 31 woman, I was pretty defensive.  Why didn't men have a laundry list of things to do?  Why women?

I thought what I might do is break down the Proverbs 31 Woman scripture into a few verses at a time and reflect on my own experience trying to live this lifestyle while adding in anecdotes from the author as well. At some point, I thought it would be really fun to host a P31Challenge Link-up.  Note (obviously) the challenge would not be my own, but the author's challenge.  I just thought it would be nice to have a support group of women all trying to embark on the same journey.  Let me know if any of you are interested in that.

"Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?

She is more precious than rubies.

Her husband can trust her,

and she will greatly enrich his life.

She brings him good, not harm,

all the days of her life."

Proverbs 31:10-12

I have to admit, first and foremost, that like Horn, I started trying to do this despite.  It was almost like I read this as a challenge and people expected me to fail.  I don't know about you, but I hate failure.  I like to be good at everything I do and if I'm going to be a wife, I want to be a good one!  So since everyone knew I couldn't do it (in my head apparently), I decided to do it despite everyone!

When I first read this, I had no problem with it.  I agree, I am as precious as rubies.  My husband can trust me.  I will be good to him.  Then there is this part: all the days of her life.  I realized there are some times when I'm cranky or tired or ill or for no reason at all and I take it out on him.  Even if my original source of frustration had nothing to do with him, he was/is the target of my emotion.  Do you do that, too?  So I decided that I was going to be more intentional with my interactions with my hubby.

Now, I know I fail at this on a daily basis, but I try so hard to bring him good, not harm, all the days of my life.  Honey, if you're reading this, I do try.  Guys, it can be so hard to take a deep breath and overlook the boxers on the bathroom floor or the Coke can on the end table.  However, I have to say, those are such stupid things to argue about!  It's so much easier to overlook them than to waste time fighting about them.  And we won't even talk about all the aggrivating things I do.  He overlooks most those on a daily basis as well.  So, this much he deserves.  (According to Proverbs, he deserves it all...)  

Do you aim to bring your man good, not harm, all the days of your life?  Do you struggle with it?

I'm not saying I sit and plot ways to bring him harm, but sometimes I do it on accident!

Do you enrich his life?  Can he trust you?  Because, lady, you ARE more precious than a ruby.

There are several great resources tied in with this book such as the great blog Sarah Horn updates regularly with great recipes and inspiring posts, the P31 Challenge that you can take (perfection not required), and a Pinterest P31 Scavenger Hunt!